


Conflict Inside Of One's Head

by thundrstar



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Divergence, Chapter 42, Episode 6 Of Season Two, Other, Slight Angst?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 15:12:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11015994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thundrstar/pseuds/thundrstar
Summary: I just want to say that I am pretty new to writing stuff like this, this'll be my first time posting my works on anything, really!Please due spare me If I make any grammatical errors, or if anything seems slightly out of place!Criticisms are welcomed, and I would like some advice as well if any of you guys can offer it!





	Conflict Inside Of One's Head

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to say that I am pretty new to writing stuff like this, this'll be my first time posting my works on anything, really!
> 
> Please due spare me If I make any grammatical errors, or if anything seems slightly out of place!
> 
> Criticisms are welcomed, and I would like some advice as well if any of you guys can offer it!

Conflict.

That was all Marcel had been feeling right now as he stood there, on top of the wall as Reiner had dragged him, Eren, and Bertolt in a rather deep conversation.

  
Reiner had revealed their identities, Marcel being Jaws, Reiner being the Armored, and Bertolt being the Colossus.  
It had hit him rather hard, out of all the times something like this could've happened, it was happening now. If anything he was looking forward to heading back to the walls to relax after getting the report that there was apparently no hole in the wall, which had relieved him deeply. It'd be hard for him to see the damage that a fellow friend, a warrior, Bertolt had caused.

As the years had gone by Marcel started growing...Attached to humanity, it was a bigger attachment compared to Reiner's, as he had enlisted into the Survey Corps and made more allies, more friends. The man started feeling it rather hard to really hate humanity, to feel the want to just carry out his mission and destroy it. The second time the walls were attacked after five years had passed really got to him. After spending so much damn time getting to know people that he knew deep down would die eventually due to what they, as warriors were doing.

  
He didn't want to face the truth, definitely not. But the world was cruel, and it would never give mercy to anyone. The shifter often found himself contemplating at random nights on what he wanted to do, defend humanity..The people he had grown to really, and genuinely care for, or destroy it, destroy all the innocent lives that had done nothing wrong in the world to deserve such cruel fate. It was his mission to do it, but it was unfair, too unfair. Before he had actually gotten into the routine of adapting to human life he would definitely agree that they would have to destroy humanity, but after so much time growing accustomed to it, he found himself in pure utter conflict with his mentality, his case wasn't as bad as Reiner's where the blonde had developed a soldier persona, nothing of the sort really, but the mental damage still caved in at certain times behind closed doors where he could let his emotions run and break through.

But now here he was, nowhere to go and pity himself, breakdown just a tad. He was here in the living flesh, in front of three other shifters, two being childhood friends of his, set out on destroying humanity along the lines of completing their mission with him.

And another, another shifter who wanted to rid the world of the hell humanity had been walking through for the past one-hundred years. One who had such passion to go out and see the ocean, explore the world.

Marcel had found himself to admire Eren's ambition, his goal to aid humanity and wipe out the monsters known as titans that also walked along the same Earth as they did, a fine goal indeed he had thought to himself one night when he was taking to the brunette, he even flashed a rather small, but genuine smile to the other, even going along the lines of saying that he too would like the same in making the world a better place.

But of course at that time their definitions of making it a better place were vastly different.

But now he would stand here, hearing the words just pour out of Reiner's mouth, it was horrid to hear,, definitely. He didn't want to be revealed at such a time, after feeling such genuine concern for humanity he had thought to come clean himself one day to the commander, to his friends.

Fate really seemed to have other plans in mind though. Though, a small flicker of hope actually came to him when Eren himself had stated that Reiner was just tired, and not feeling too well.

Yeah..That could work, Bertolt even agreed with such. If Marcel were to take a guess by the look on his face, Bertolt wasn't ready to do this out of all times either, good..They could just go back to the walls and deal with such a problematic scenario later.

But that wasn't the case. That little flicker had burned out immediately when Eren had pointed out that he wouldn't come along so easily anyways.

Right then and there Marcel would break.  
The man fell to his hands and knees, bringing his hands to his head just frantically trying to find something to distract himself from the events that he was betting would occur soon. It had actually snapped Reiner out of his own mental breakdown as he stared down at his fellow warrior.

Eren peered down as well, kneeling and asking with the sheer concern in his voice being very obvious.

  
_"Oi..Marcel, what's wrong with you?! What's going on, are you alright?!"_

The questions had continued, on and on with each reply of Marcel's just being a shake of his head and a bunch of broken down, mumbled words that he himself probably couldn't decipher.

He probably had looked suspicious now, there was no point in trying to hide the damned secrets any longer. A scene was already stirring up, he might as well confirm it.

With a turn of his head he'd lock his teary eyes with the brunettes.

  
_"I..I'm...S..So sorry..But..It's true..All the shit he's saying..It's..So undeniably fuckin' true.."_

Before words could even emit from Eren's lips Marcel had scratched himself, he had dug deep to make sure he had evidence to back up his words.

Steam would start to appear from his wounds, slowly sealing up the injury he had done to himself.

He found himself starting to stand up, though his gaze was locked onto the ground, Marcel couldn't find the strength to look at anyone around him, it'd literally be too much. Tears would soon start to fall and hit the ground as he began to speak once more.

_"I'm a damn shifter..I'm a killer..And.."_

There was a hiccup.

_"I'm..So god damned sorry.."_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm contemplating if I want to write a sequel to this, I may if I get relatively good feedback!
> 
> (The 'sequel' I plan on writing if any of you guys actually wish to read it is basically how Marcel is still alive and how the situation has built up to this!)


End file.
